Are you still a perfectionist?

Perfectionism or Excellence

Perfect! Perfect beauty, perfect intelligence, perfect job, perfect marriage… What a wonderful word! Or is it? Let me start by letting you know that perfectionism is a pathology, as in a mental illness deeply rooted in desire for control and huge amounts of fear…

Let’s examine why would anyone like to be perfect?

  1. To a avoid any form of criticism; if you are ‘perfect’, no one can find you fault, you thereby avoid all sorts of criticisms or funny looks.
  2. To avoid responsibility and risk; you if abide by the ‘perfect’ script as written by the society, your boss or your parents, you will not be taking any responsibility whatsoever and no one can hold you accountable for any of the consequences of your actions.
  3. To fill in the gaps in your ego/self; if your sense of self is not fully developed and your path is not clear, what a better way of embracing the idea of ‘perfect’ and stickling to it to frame a false sense of self.
  4. To please others; you may be so committed to pleasing others that you may want to offer only the ‘perfect’ so that you are loved in a perfect way…

Those people who take proud of being ‘perfectionist’ are often fearful, anxious with low self-worth and even lower self-love, they keep searching   a concept which does not exist and therefore can never be satisfied or done. Perfectionism hinders their creativity, leadership and surely their happiness, it is a sign of an obsession and needs to be replaced with healthier attitudes and behaviors.

The healthy option is ‘excellence’, excelling in what one can do, or be, doing or being your best. Excellence is a sign of a mentally balanced person whose self-worth and love is developed, and who is confident enough to take risks and is not afraid of making mistakes. This type of attitude helps individuals to feel fulfilled, turns societies into more tolerant and unified ones.

So on your next interview, if you hear someone saying I am a bit of perfectionists, do not hire him/her.  

Wishing you excellent day and  not a perfect one!

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Çiğdem Penn